


Oh, you sweet summer child

by ruthvsreality



Category: Pod Save America (RPF)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 03:10:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14155371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruthvsreality/pseuds/ruthvsreality
Summary: Or, five times Jon Favreau didn't "get it" and one time he definitely did.





	Oh, you sweet summer child

**Author's Note:**

> As always, please keep the fourth wall secret and do not harass these people, thank you. Prompt crossposted on the podsa kinkmeme.

1.

"You know," Jon says, idly scrolling through his twitter feed, "I could really go for a quickie right now." 

This statement causes Lovett to witness a truly delightful sequence of events. Tommy nearly chokes on his coffee, just managing to not spill it all over his keyboard. Elijah's pencil, which he had been twirling between his fingers, goes flying across the room due to a sudden loss of grip.  Tanya gives a truly impressive look of bewilderment and takes a headphone out of one ear.  The office, which up to this point has been buzzing with the sounds of eleven am podcast preparation activity (which is a great tongue twister, by the way), goes silent for a moment.  Jon looks up from his phone, his eyes wide and curious.  He reminds Lovett a little of Pundit when Lovett has to tell her not to bark during game of thrones (not that she would ever, ever do that).  

"Uh, beg your pardon?" Tommy says.  He's so pale that Lovett can't tell if he's actually blushing or if the coffee he's drinking is just really hot. "What... what was that, Jon?"

"Nothing important." Jon shrugs.  "Why's everyone staring at me? I just said I could go for a quickie." He leans back in his chair as if he's provided an adequate explanation, and hasn't suggested to his colleagues that he'd really be in the mood for about twenty minutes of casual sex.  You know, if the opportunity presented itself right now.  Lovett wonders, idly, if he's entered an alternate universe where his secret fantasies have come alive and mixed with his internet search history to create this strange, strange conversation.

These days? Wouldn't even be the weirdest thing to happen in his life.  But it's still worth investigating. 

"Um, Jon..." Lovett tries to speak delicately, "what exactly do you mean by that?" Because it's been a while since they'd had a discussion about personal relationships in the workplace, but he's certain that nowhere in the theoretical Crooked Media handbook is there a section on announcing how much you'd like to get laid. Well, almost certain, anyway.

"A quickie." Jon looks at Lovett like  _he's_ the one who's acting weird. "You know... those little tarts you eat for breakfast? They've got, like, egg in them, or something."

Lovett breathes out a long sigh and just shakes his head while Tommy and Elijah burst into laughter loud enough that Lovett actually has to raise his voice to speak.  "It's pronounced quiche, Jon.  You're thinking of a quiche."

"Oh." Jon nods. "Ohh, and I said - the other thing -" His face turns a few shades pinker with sudden understanding.  It's honestly adorable, and Lovett's not the only one who notices it, by the way Tommy's schadenfreude-infused grin has softened into something slightly more affectionate. 

"I mean, it's entirely possible you could be in the mood for that too." Tommy offers, and now it's Lovett's turn to snicker. 

"Can we just -" Jon's clearly embarrassed, but he's smiling, too. "Can we pretend I didn't say that?"

"Absolutely not." Tommy replies. "We are never letting you live that down."

Lovett feels the office settle back into its original rhythm, only with the addition of small, secret smiles between Tommy, Jon, and himself.  It feels right.  

He picks up his phone and starts searching Postmates for where he could get a quiche. 

2.

"I think I'm getting too old for my job." Jon mutters. 

Lovett looks up from his spot on the couch.  They're at Jon's place, today, ostensibly to get work done, but more likely so Tommy and Jon can watch whatever sports game is on and Lovett can sit between them and pretend like he's not focusing way too much on how comfortable he feels between his two very straight friends. Basically, a normal Saturday.  A pretty good one, too, because Lovett's gotten a ton of likes on a couple of his tweets, and one of them was retweeted by Lin Manuel Miranda, who would be an awesome guest on Lovett or Leave it and he should really start writing these things down when they come to him.

He glances up to see Jon squinting at his laptop screen with a look usually reserved for whatever nonsense Trump has tweeted lately.  

"Nope, I'm the only one around here allowed to complain about their age for comedic effect." Lovett offers. "What is troubling you, you timeless wizard, you fine wine, you fountain-of-youth?" He gets up and points at Tommy, who's laughing, as he passes him on the other couch. "And you don't get to talk, Vietor," he pretends to scold, "not while you're over there looking like you've found the Sorcerer's Stone."

"I don't know what that means." Tommy giggles. Lovett rolls his eyes. Honestly, it's like he has to carry the brunt of cultural references around here.

He goes over to the dining table, where Jon's still peering at his twitter feed, shaking his head slightly. 

"It's these memes, man." He says. Lovett feels the corners of his mouth quirk up. "The things the kids are making - they might as well be in hieroglyphics for all I understand them." 

"Okay, first, don't call them 'the kids' unless you want to turn into a ninety year old senator from Alabama." Lovett pushes at Jon's shoulder. "Second, move so I can see what you're confused about." 

Jon stands up and Lovett sits in his chair.  He knows he didn't have to make Jon do that, but then Jon leans forward to see the screen, and Lovett can feel Jon's breath on the back of his neck, his big hand on Lovett's shoulder.  He knows Jon likes being close to him.  He likes being close to Jon, too.  

He wonders if they'll do anything about that, one of these days.  After all, it can't all just be in Lovett's head anymore. 

On the screen is a set of photos captioned with the question "What you doing up at 2 in the morning?", with the photos implying a response to the question.  The series is of several pictures of meat getting tenderized - a steak getting pounded with one of those hammer-things Lovett sees on Top Chef, some ground beef getting punched by a person wearing brass knuckles, and, hilariously, a shot of Rocky punching some dead animal during a training montage.  

It's a funny meme. Lovett gives an obligatory chuckle.  Jon bristles behind him.

"Okay, I must be losing touch, because I have no idea what the fuck that's supposed to be saying." He stands up straight and crosses his arms.  Lovett looks up at him and thinks  _Oh, you cinnamon roll. Too precious for this world. Too pure._ "Is that a chef thing? Is there some kind of late-night chef subculture that's taken over the internet?"

"Favs, what on earth are you talking about?" Tommy says.  Lovett definitely doesn't giggle like a twelve year old.

"Hey Tommy," he says, "What are you usually doing at 2 in the morning?"

"I dunno, sleeping?" Tommy shrugs. Lovett turns Jon's laptop around with a dramatic flourish and enjoys the way Tommy's (nonexistent) eyebrows shoot up.

"I mean..." Tommy's schoolboy grins are truly a sight to behold, sometimes.  Lovett drinks it in. "Sometimes. Not all the time. But yeah. That." His voice goes a little quiet, and even if he's playing it up for Lovett, there's definitely a hint of flirtation in there.  _You wanna show me sometime?_ Lovett thinks in his head, and turns to Jon.

"Beating your meat, Jon." Years of improv help with keeping a straight face in the weirdest of situations. "That's what they're alluding to."

"Ah." Jon nods, ducking his head.  Lovett can see a flash of Favs' stupid pearly white teeth when he smiles. "I see."

Lovett smirks and takes a sip of Jon's beer.  There's a pause before Tommy speaks up.

"It means masturbati-"

"I know what it means, Tommy!" Jon cuts him off.  He shoves Lovett out of his chair with mock-frustration.

Lovett hums happily as he walks back to his spot on the couch.  It really is a good Saturday.

3. 

"I am starving." Tommy declares.

Lovett doesn't even look up at him from his spot on the floor. They're cooped up in Jon's hotel room in the hours before they're scheduled to appear on Colbert for what feels like the hundredth time (not that Lovett minds, of course.  Build the brand, and all that).  It's late, and they all smell like plane, and Lovett wants to hop in the shower, but is it appropriate for him to shower with two other maybe-straight-maybe-not guys in the room when they've been consistently flirting with each other all week? Will that break whatever weird spell this is, and then Lovett will have to go back to pretending like there isn't obvious sexual tension between the three of them? These questions and others have been on his mind for a while now.

Almost kissing Favs in an elevator while Tommy watched didn't exactly help.  But, whatever. These things are going to happen on their own time. 

Besides, he's way too tired and hungry to think about that right now.

"I am... starving." Tommy says. He slumps back onto the pillows.

"Honestly?" Lovett thinks of the pretzels he ate on the flight. "Big mood."

"The biggest." Tommy sighs. "Like..." He raises a hand to the ceiling as if he's plotting out a billboard sign. "Will-Give-Head-For-Food."

Now  _that_  makes Lovett sit up.  Okay. That's... something.  That's as close to a confirmation of not-straightness as Lovett's going to get. 

He turns to Tommy and Tommy actually fucking winks at him.  Holy shit. Is this happening? Are they actually - is this going to happen?

Jon, who isn't facing either of them and is evidently unaware of the monumental change in the room's atmosphere, mumbles, "How would you even do that."

Tommy tears his gaze away from Lovett like he's been woken up from a trance. "What?"

"Eat food without a head." Jon turns around and faces the two of them. "How would you even do that?"

It takes a moment for the two of them to register what Jon's said until Tommy exhales and runs a hand over his face.  He's got on this exasperated-but-fond expression that Lovett likes so much he wishes he could take a picture of it.

"I meant, like.  Will-suck-you-off... for food." Tommy explains.  He didn't need to word it like that, but he did, and Lovett can hear Jon's sharp intake of breath.  Tommy glances at down at him for half a second and Lovett feels his entire body heat up.  

"That... that all you want in exchange?" Jon says slowly, after a moment. Finally, finally, Lovett gets to see Jon when he's confident and flirtatious. "'Cause I can order something pretty quickly, if you'd like." 

Tommy sits up. His eyes are full of laughter, but they're also dark with arousal. "That...might not be necessary." He's clearly choosing his words carefully, so as to not ruin the moment. "What- what do you think, Lovett?"

Lovett feels like he's been waiting for this moment for a year. "I think we can work something out." 

It's just a question of who moves first, now.  Lovett is perfectly willing to - 

Jon's phone alarm goes off, making all three of them jump.  It's time for them to head down to the studio.  

Tommy looks at both of them while he's putting on his coat. "Hey," he says, "we're gonna, uh, continue this conversation later, right?"

Lovett catches Jon smiling as he grabs his wallet and phone charger.  It feels like the three of them share a secret. 

"Definitely." He replies.

4. 

"Do you think this was the best outfit for me to wear on television?" Jon says, standing in front of the mirror.  He sounds a little overly talkative, like he's kind of nervous.  They're back at the hotel room, and Lovett can't decide if he wants to focus more on the fact that Tommy's been half hard since they got on the subway back from the studio, or on the fact that Jon made them stop at a Duane Reade on the way to buy condoms and lube.  Because this is really happening. 

Or, well, it will be, if Jon will stop fucking around and distracting himself. 

"I think you look fine, man." Tommy says. Trust Tommy to sound like a total dudebro even before engaging in a gay threesome. Lovett rolls his eyes and lies back on the bed.  He hopes he looks inviting.  The way Tommy's looking at him seems to suggest that he does.

"You sure?" Jon turns his back on the mirror. "What do you think, Lovett?"

Lovett can't resist. "Me? I think those clothes look terrible on you." 

The slightly taken-aback way Jon tilts his head at him is absolutely priceless.

"Maybe you should take them off." He finishes.

Jon doesn't ask for much more of an explanation than that.

5.

"Psst." Tommy whispers. Lovett rolls his eyes. What are they, at a slumber party? "Favs. Psst."

"What?" Jon whispers back. He's staring up at the ceiling with an expression that Lovett has decided to classify as split between "in awe of what's just happened" and "praying to god that this isn't actually a dream".  Lovett imagines that he has a similar look on his face.

They're all in Jon's hotel bedroom.  In bed. Without any clothes on. Because they've just had sex.

Lovett might have entered an alternate universe.  He's okay with that. This universe is great.

"Listen, while we're on the subject -"

"Subject of what?"

"Of sex -"

"Are we really on the  _subject_ of it?" Lovett pipes up. "I mean, we weren't exactly _talking_ about it so much as _doing_ it -"

"You know what I mean!" Tommy has the same tone of voice he gets when he's trying not to laugh during an ad read. "Okay, Favs, I know this is random, but..." He takes a deep breath. "Dom or sub?"

There's a long silence.  Lovett would normally ask what kind of sexy, sexy line of thinking brought Tommy to that question, but he's too busy waiting for Favs to answer.

Favs thinks for a minute, then makes an ambivalent noise. "Domino's, I guess. I don't go to Subway all that often.  Don't really see why you'd put them in the same category." He shifts to look at Tommy. "Why do you ask?"

Tommy groans and flops over onto his stomach.  Lovett can see his silhouette shaking with laughter. Jon turns and looks at Lovett.

"I'm useless, aren't I?" He says. His cheeks are still flushed with exertion - or maybe that's embarrassment. Either way, it's just too cute.

Lovett leans in and pecks him on the lips. "Don't worry, you're not completely useless."

+1

"They're a match made in heaven, Donald Trump and Fox News are," Lovett says into the microphone, "because they're both terrible, out of touch, and only two steps away from becoming plot points in a young adult dystopian novel." Lovett waits for the crowd's laughter to die down. "You know, something with two star-crossed straight people who have to fight the system. They'd both be right at home in one of those stories."

Tommy leans in at the other end of the table. They're doing a live show, and the stage lights only make the hickeys on Tommy's neck that much more noticeable.  He doesn't seem to mind, though; the way Jon's been brushing his fingers over them all day might have something to do with that. "You make a really good point, though, Lovett," he adds, "because they really do feed off of each other.  They're like two people who are already kind of weird, and once they start dating, become completely insane." 

"Yeah, yeah, like, um -" Lovett snaps his fingers. "What's that word, that's like a shared psychosis between two people?"

"Oh, ménage à trois." Jon answers, smoothly, on Lovett's left. 

He says it so casually that Lovett opens his mouth to reply before realizing what's been said. There's a beat as everyone else catches up, and the crowd goes wild with laughter and the occasional wolf-whistle, the entire show essentially stopping for a full ten seconds.  Lovett can't tell if it's the joke itself or the fact that Jon's the one who said it.  He said it so deadpan that perhaps the crowd thinks Jon's messed up.  But Lovett can see the knowing look in Jon's eyes; the way his eyes flicker between Tommy and Lovett like he's saying  _see? I get it.  I'm not so innocent._

"You - you sure about that, buddy?" Tommy says.  He's wiping tears from his eyes, his voice full of mirth.  

Jon nods with all the confidence in the world. "Yeah, I'm sure." He replies. "I know these things."

**Author's Note:**

> image sources/inspiration:
> 
> 1\. http://www.gramunion.com/catgoboom.tumblr.com/164751708970  
> 2\. http://baku.tumblr.com/post/152608248093/baku-what-is-this-cooking-meme-is-this-a-chef  
> 3\. http://risingmoonflower.tumblr.com/post/46807465293/geek-in-a-box-rahilugh-40maleuk-will-give  
> 4\. this one i thought of myself after going through a list of truly terrible pick up lines  
> 5\. https://me.me/i/i-know-this-is-random-but-dom-or-sub-i-7290761  
> 6\. Inspired by angelorum's awesome fic here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12050883
> 
> jon probably would get all of these jokes but then again he also totally wouldn't so... also be glad that i didn't name this fic after some britney spears lyrics "i'm not that innocent" indeed
> 
> @ruthvsreality on tumblr


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